


The Practicality Of It All

by Peptidoglycan



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Influences from Civil War, Love, Tags to be added, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:46:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peptidoglycan/pseuds/Peptidoglycan
Summary: “There’s no coming back from this, Steve.”“What do you mean?”She tries one last time to plead with him. “If you go through with this, there’s no coming back to what we’ve built. To the future we’ve envisioned. To us. To me.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really should be finishing up my other fics, but procrastination led to an entirely new fit. Let me know what you guys thinks.
> 
> Comments and criticism are dearly appreciated.
> 
> These characters belong to the wonder that is MARVEL.

OUTSIDE THE VIENNA INTERNATIONAL CENTRE, VIENNA.

Natasha sits at the edge of her park bench looking around at the destruction and now as it seems the organized chaos. Her Starkphone vibrates in her hand. She glances down at the Caller ID, and swipes right to answer it.

“Yeah?”

_“You all right?” _

“Uh, yeah, thanks. I got lucky.”

Natasha looks around, she knows Steve well. Almost too well. The situation calls for him not to be far behind. She glances around at her surroundings, as if she knows he’s close by. There isn’t a fucking chance in hell, that he’ll leave this be. “I know how much Barnes means to you. I really do.” Her tone is a rigid dichotomy between a plead and a threat “Stay home. You'll only make this worse. For all of us. Please, Steve.”

_“Are you saying you'll arrest me?”_

Natasha shakes her head and scrunches her face in frustration. She presses her lips into a tight line. “No. Someone will. If you interfere. That's how it works now.”

_“If he's this far gone, Nat, I should be the one to bring him in.” _

She distinctly hears the determinitaion in his voice. He’s already made up his mind, hasn't he.

“Why?” She pauses, gathering her emotions. “Why should it be you ?”

_“Because I'm the one least likely to die trying.” _

“There’s no coming back from this, Steve.”

_“What do you mean?”_

She tries one last time to plead with him. “If you go through with this, there’s no coming back to what we’ve built. To the future we’ve envisioned. To us. To me.”

_“He’s my friend.” _

“I know, Steve.” Natasha chokes down the tears threatening to show, she ignores the knot in her throat and musters up all her energy to utter these last words to him. "But I love you.”

_“And I you. But this is just something I gotta do.”_ With that the phones dies in ear her.

“Shit.” Natasha looks down at the phone in her in disbelief.

* * *

CAFE NEAR THE VIENNA INTERNATIONAL CENTRE, VIENNA.

Steve ends the call with Natasha. He knows he’s putting so much on the line by going after Bucky. But he has to. Bucky was his friend ⎼ is his friend. Steve scans the cafe and finds Sam sitting at the bar, enjoying some kind of dessert. As soon as he reaches Sam, he can see that Sam knows that his call to Natasha did not go as planned.

“She tell you to stay out of it?” Steve acknowledges Sam’s question with a curt nod. “Might have a point.”

“He'd do it for me.”

“1945, maybe.” Sam piles a large scoop of whatever he is eating onto his fork before continuing. “I just want to make sure we consider all our options. The people that shoot at you usually wind up shooting at me.”

Sam is a good man and a great friend. He could’ve run away and just get on with his life, but he is choosing to stay here and help Steve. He, just like Steve, is also putting everything on the line. For Bucky. Steve claps Sam on the back. A friendly gesture to extend his gratitude. “Thank you, Sam. You’re a good man.”

Steve sets his phone down on the bar’s countertop and takes a seat. Everything has been happening so fast, he has not had the chance to just sit down and breath. Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Sam looks at Steve intently. He has sympathy for the man. The thoughts that must be running through his head, right now.

“You know, if you wanna stop and just go live your life with Natasha.” Sam pauses as Steve’s eyes reaches his. “Nobody would blame you. Least of all your good friend, Bucky.”

Steve wrings his hands as he waits for the tension to dissipate from his body. But it never does. “I can’t stop, Sam. And the truth is, I don't wanna stop. He is my friend.” Steve wrings his hands so hard that his knuckles turn white. “But I also don't wanna lose her.”

Silence envelopes the pair. For a while they just sit there, waiting for the silence to fizz out. Steve is the first one say break the tedious monotony of the cafe cacophony. “Natasha, of all people should understand the importance and gravitas of second chances.”

For a split second Sam is bathed in seriousness as he looks at Steve. “Yeah. But you know Natasha. She wouldn't want you compromising your morals for it.”

* * *

A FEW WEEKS LATER. AVENGERS FACILITY, UPSTATE NEW YORK.

Tony finds Natasha, on the second floor balcony staring out at the east lawn. Her shoulders are tense and her stance is wide. She’s thinking, or rather contemplating.

“You know, Red, the lawn’s really not that interesting.”

Tony is met with nothing but a silence and a soft smile. A smile that’s forced and not genuine.

“I would’ve thought that you were better at pretending.”

Tony walks closer to Natasha. He places his hand on her shoulder and pulls her into a side embrace.

“I just miss him. He shouldn't be out there in the first place.”

Tony caresses Natasha’s arm. “I take it congratulations are in order about the impending little super soldier.”

Natasha looks up at Tony with an arched eyebrow. Certainly not a look of surprise but rather a ‘tell-me-how you-found-out-now’ look. Tony steps back and looks at Natasha with a sly smile.

“Did you forget we do monthly biometric scans ? Our last one was two weeks ago.”

Tony turns his body to face Natasha as he leans against the railings.

“You, been to Helen yet ? How far along are you ?”

Natasha unfolds her crossed arms and immediately some of the tension in her shoulders disappear.

“About a month.” Natasha pauses. “And no, I haven’t told Steve. And I didn’t know, back in Vienna.”

Tony straightens up and dares to ask the question, that’s been plaguing her for days. “You think he would’ve stayed, if you’d known and told him.”

Shivers run through Natasha’s body as she thinks about incidents of the last couple weeks. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway, I told him not to come back.”

For the first time in a long while Tony doesn’t know what to say. Natasha breaks him out of his reverie with her pleading eyes.

“Tony… I need your help. I’m not raising this kid with the short stacked, unpredictable jobs we have. I need to get away. I need to raise this kid somewhere safe, somewhere I trust. This kid needs a chance at a normal life.”

Tony lets out a sigh. “Anything for you and the kid, Nat.”

Natasha grabs Tony in a quick hug. “Thanks, Tony.” She kisses his cheek and walks away.

“He’ll try and find you, you know.”

“He’ll find me, when I’m ready to be found.”

* * *

** FIVE YEARS LATER. **

DISTRICT II. RÓZSADOMB, BUDAPEST.

Natasha is enjoying reading her book in her sunroom when a little boy comes in, running at top speed.

“Slow down Malysh, or you’ll bump into something.”

The boy stops right in front of her. She pinches his apple cheeks and ruffles his strawberry blond hair. “Sorry, momma.”

“It’s okay, Jamie.” Natasha continues to read her book but James persistently taps her leg to get her attention.

“Yes, Jamie.”

“Auntie Lena says there is someone at the door for you.” he says with a smile.

Natasha gets up, with James hot on her tail, and walks towards the front door. She passes by the kitchen where Yelena points towards the receiving living room. Natasha’s never been shocked in her life. But today, today is the exception.

“Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm looking for a beta if anyone is interested ☺️☺️


	2. Chapter 2

“Steve.”

The confusion and shock in Natasha’s voice does little to faze Steve. She gives him a once over before finally landing on his face. His hair is longer, which makes his blonde strands seem lighter and he’s grown a beard to cover his rugged square jaw. His big baby blue eyes meet her emerald eyes. Steve gives her one of his signature dopey grins.

“_Natasha_.”

His voice is low and sultry, and it makes her heart flutter like she’s a teenager again. Snapped out of her reverie, Natasha suddenly remembers the boy that is clinging to her thigh. She looks down and finds big blue eyes peering around her leg at the ‘stranger’ in their living room. She bends down to talk to James face to face.

“Malysh, why don’t you go help Auntie Lena with dinner in the kitchen.”

“Okay, momma.”

And with that James scurries off towards the kitchen, out of sight of both Natasha and Steve.

Steve’s eyes travel up and down Natasha’s body. Some women might find it demeaning. And Natasha does, but not when it’s Steve. “_The blonde looks good on you_.” She subconsciously runs her hands through her short blonde bob.

Awkwardness settles in the room. Steve is the first one to speak up. Mostly out of fear that the room will swallow them both whole.

“_Is that James_?”

Natasha’s head shoots up at the sound of her son’s name leaving Steve’s mouth. The rosy red colour disappears from her cheeks. It’s clear to Steve that she was not she was not anticipating him knowing the name of his own child. With a constricted and low voice, Natasha answers him. “Yes.”

Natasha averts all eye contact. She walks over to the window, where she stares out at the scenery in front of her. Her back is facing Steve. In a muffled voice she asks him a question. “How’d you find out?”

Steve lets out a sigh before he answers. “_Tony_.”

And then the soft spoken Natasha, who for the past few minutes wore her heart on her sleeve, disappears. She morphs into the cold and stone faced Black Widow to try and avoid emotion. “Fucking blabbermouth.”

“_Fucking blabbermouth? That’s all you have to say._” Steve temper starts too flare. Many people think that America’s golden boy, that does no wrong, can’t lose his shit. Well, he can. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. See, Steve’s emotions aren’t like many. It festers. It searches for a crack and when it finds the crack, it gushes. Like as waterfall. “_This wasn’t a fucking measily little secret, Natasha_.”

He pauses. “_It’s not like he ruined a surprise party._” Steve comes to a stop, he fixates his eyes on the spec of dust on the floor. He takes a deep breath. In and out. In and out. He starts again in a much more hushed voice. “_He just told me where to find my wife and son_.”

Natasha freezes. It’s been a long time. Five years. Five years of being no one's wife and someone’s mom. She honestly never thought she would hear that word again. Wife. “You think that’s what we are, Steve” She pauses. Natasha takes a step closer to Steve. She invades his personal space. She is standing so close to him, she feels the heat radiating off his body. His hot breath cascades along her left cheek and neck. Goosebumps rise on both Natasha and Steve’s necks. The air is a cocktail of emotions and the tension is more than palpable. “You think you can just walk in here and call us that again ⎼ call me that again.” Natasha pokes angrily at his chest. “You lost that privilege the day you walked out on me, on us.” Tears are streaming down Natasha’s face.

“_Natasha..._” Steve pleads as his own tears roll down his face.

“No, Steve. You left.” Natasha collapses onto the couch. With her head in her hands, her tears slowly roll down her face.

The interaction between the former partners and lovers is emotionally gut-wrenching and tiring. And yet only the surface has been scratched. Steve fiercely wipes away his tears with the back of his hand and straightens his back. He looks at Natasha with conviction.

“_Well, I wasn't the only one, Natasha. You left too._” Natasha lifts her head from her hands. She stopped crying. Her eyes are red and there are prominent tear stains on her cheeks. Even in the state of things, all Steve wants to do is wipe them away. But he can’t. Things aren't like they were five, six years ago. Natasha’s lip twitches as she looks up at him.

“I left to give my kid a better chance at life. Away from all the shit we go through. And away from everything that could possibly hurt him.”

The argument is softer and slower, the intinital steam is lost. But the tension is still there. And the ambience is ridden with emotion.

Steve takes a seat opposite Natasha. He sighs heavily before he continues to speak. “_You thought I couldn't do that. You thought I couldn't protect you and James._”

It’s Natasha’s turn to breathe a heavy sigh. “I had no doubt you would and could protect us. I just… I just wasn’t sure if you could leave the job and all its requisites behind.”

Steve leans forward in his chair. “_How sure were you about that?”_ The brevity in his words are noticeable as he clenches his jaw.

“Sorry to say, Steve, but you chose the job and Bucky when I asked you not to. You broke my heart.”

“_That’s not fair, Natasha_.” The crease in Steve’s forehead became more obtrusive. “_Bucky needed my help. I did what anyone in my position would do. And I was naive enough to believe my wife would be waiting once I got home. Instead I was left with an empty house and an ache in my heart, the size of Texas._”

The comment struck Natasha’s nerve. “You thought I’d be waiting with a pat on the back and a hot plate of food.” Natasha frowns. “Forgiveness versus fucking permission, right.”

Both of them are emotionally drained. It is clear that the fight is reaching its peak, Steve stands up and walks over to the front door. “_You know what Natasha, you’re a hypocrite. You would’ve done the same thing, if it was Clint._”

Steve reaches for the handle. He looks back at her one last time. Natasha does not make a move to face him and look him in the eyes. “_You can be angry at me all you want, but you had no right to keep James from me. You had no right to make major life decisions for me, regarding my family. And you had no right to make me choose_.” With that Steve leaves.

Natasha hears the door slam behind her. She winces at the sound and continues to stare at the ground. Pondering.

Could Steve be right ?


End file.
